Posted on March 14th, 2010 by rose
wifes on computer from am to pm gets like 2 hous sleep and goes back at it 3 kids i work 10 hours a day 6 days a week and cook and clean when i get home give me any good ways to kill the computer or stop her addiction to this wretched thingwell stop paying the internet bill. if it was me then i would smash the computer or sell it... she doesn't work so how is she going to pay for itTake the motem out of the house and tell her it would be nice if when you got home from work the house was picked up, the dishes were done, the laundry going, and the kids taken care of for a change and you didn't have to do it after working all day.You two need to talk about it.
I know you must feel under appreciated going to work that long to come home to a house where you have to cook, clean, and look after the kids. I understand you my friend. I had gone through that for a time with my spouse, and eventually I just had to sit down and speak with her.
It's not easy, and there will be frustrations of course. But don't give up. Explain to her how she feels and then listen to how she feels. Work *together* to find out what the two of you can do. And don't feel bad if you two can't come up with something the first time you sit down. Good plans take time.
And DO NOT attempt to use any of the mind-games these others are telling you. Don't just be a jerk to your wife all of a sudden. But do be firm on how you feel with her being on the computer all day. Remember, you love her but you hate the computer, not the other way around :-P. Hope this helps. Oh I'm sorry :c(
It is an addiction, absolutely. I used to have it, but that was back in highschool and I didn't have much to lose.
You might need to go through some of the same steps you would with a spouse with any addiction. Because until she realizes and admits to herself that she has a problem, an imbalance in her life, there's not much you can do (like with any addiction.) Most of it will have to be on her end. Here's all I can think of, it may or may not help in your situation:
a) pray; God is bigger than the addiction, and he does care about this
b) confront her lovingly, letting her know how her actions are affecting you. If it is also affecting the kids or others and if they are able to confront as well, might be more effective. Might help her to know it's not "you" that is the problem.
c) is it possible there could be anything she is getting from the computer/internet that she should be getting from you? Not that it would excuse the addiction, but it may help get to the root of it and heal it.It's her communication device. You might not be giving her what she desires, hence no attention for you besides your paycheck, Daddy duties and security. Try to become one with the computer.If I were you, I would just take the internet out for a week or two (unless she needs it for her business or something) and tell her she needs to get off of it. I think she doesn't want to face the reality of her life. She will scream, yell etc let her do it, she is acting like a child (by gluing herself to the computer) and she needs to be treated like a child.
Also, encourage her to be with her friends as well, she needs a social life, I think her loneliness made her get glued to the computer. A woman needs more than just a husband. Also, tell her a hobby or an activity that she could do on a daily basis. Sit down wth her with a cup of coffee or tea and have a talk about it. When she is away from the computer. She needs to realize the problem for herself.I had the same problem in the past. I , literally, took my husband by the had and told him, in detail, what he was doing and how it made me feel. He started making an effort to spend more time with me rather then the computer.
So, All i can say is to talk to her, tie her to a chair if necessary. But get her to see how what she is doing makes you feel. I know that with men it is hard to talk about feelings. But you need to make an effort. Although women are more in touch with their feelings and the feelings of those around them, they are not mind readers.
Marriage is about communication. So, start communicating. Be warned, that it will take more than one or two and maybe even three times of talking to her to get things to change. but you have to be diligent about it. Take a mechanical part of the computer that she has to have in order to use it, like the mouse or something. Tell her you dont know how it got broken, but now she can help you out since she cannot use the computer until its replaced. See what her response is and if she has a bad attitude then you may need to sit down with her and help her understand the duties of parents.come home and dont cook, dont clean. see what she does...?quit paying the intenet bill,pull the plug,try communicating with her over the subject.Good luck. I have been on World of Warcraft for 3 years and I am just now getting away...only to be replaced by Yahoo Answers. :o)All's I can say is ... happy wives don't do what your wife is doing.
There are deeper issues happening here that have nothing to do with the computer.
Yeah my husband and I had this argument too many times too. He used to tell me he was going to slam this damn thing up against the wall. I was using the computer to kill boredom and then became addicted to games and stupid things. I honestly never talked to anyone on it though. I think that was what he thought I was doing most of the time. I started to get him to play the games with me too. Watch videos together and all. Then he started to rent movies and take me out more often. Also, the sex life really picked up in a new and different way. He got me unaddicted!!!! Good luck! Just take her out! But her a new outfit she if she wants to get her hair/nails done, and then ask her to go to dinner or movie.#If you have any other info about this subject , Please add it free.# |
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